FAMILY DISPUTE & RESOLUTION MECHANISM

  1. Don’t encourage your son and his wife to stay under the same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house. It’s their problem to find a separate home. The more the distance between you and your children’s families, the better is the relationship with your in-laws.

2. Treat your son’s wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would remember it for life.
In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.

3. Whatever habits or characters your son’s wife has is not your problem at all, it is your son’s problem. It isn’t your problem as he is an adult already.

4. Even when living together, make each other’s businesses clear, don’t do their laundry, don’t cook for them, and don’t babysit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son’s wife and you feel that you’re capable and don’t expect anything in return.
Most importantly, you shouldn’t worry about your son’s family problems. Let them settle themselves

5. Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarreling. It’s normal that the young couple do not like their parents to be involved in the dispute between husband and wife.

6. Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children, it is up to them. The credit or blame would be on them.

7. Your son’s wife need not necessarily respect and serve you. It is the son’s duty. You should have taught your son to be a better person so that your and your son’s wife’s relationship could be better.

8. Do more planning for your own retirement, don’t rely on your children to take care of your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn throughout the journey.

9. It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years. Better if you could utilize & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die. Don’t let your wealth become worthless to you.

10. Grandchildren don’t belong to your family, they’re their parents precious gift.

About the author

Dr. Muchelule

Dr. Muchelule has a doctorate in project management, masters in project management, with another ongoing Ph.D. in management information systems, bachelor of computer science, ISO certified systems auditor, child protection certified expert from Havard University, Microsoft Certified IT professional expert from Microsoft U.S.A. with over 15 years of experience in ICT, project management, Monitoring&Evaluation, Assets Tracking, Inventory Management; gender mainstream & advocacy, child protection, Islamic finance, quality management, Research, Evidence and Learning (RMEL). He has been a key facilitator of Kenya School of Law on areas of research, Project Management & monitoring & evaluation, As well as lead trainer/facilitator to Kajiado County Ward Managers on Monitoring & evaluation, Gulf cap top management facilitator on project design, monitoring & evaluation on Buxton Point Affordable Housing Project Mombasa County, Kenya, Key technical member on monitoring & evaluation of Kenya judiciary, Lead consultant in Development of Monitoring, Evaluation And Learning (MEL) Plan For National Council on the Administration of Justice (NCAJ)- Court Users Committees (CUC), Lead consultant on the development of Gender Policy for the Kenya Independent Medico-Legal Unit (IMLU); lead consultant on Systems Analysis and Design For Projects Information Management System for Kenya national water harvesting and storage authority(NWHSA), lead consultant Kenya National Treasury in the Development of Standard Methodological Manual for Project Level Monitoring Evaluation and Reporting, ICT authority Technical committee member on Digital Literacy Program Implementation among Public Primary Schools in Kenya. He is among the Founder and Executive Director of MettaMetta Foundation western region of Kenya, Technical Projects Advisor at The Association for the Physically Disabled of Kenya (APDK), A lecturer in both public and private sectors in Kenya namely Umma University, Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, Moi University, an External Examiner at Azteca University Canada & Mexico, a grasshopper’s faculty member in the U.S.A, PMI certified member U.S.A. With working experience in development partner agencies like ACORD, MUBADIROON in sub-Sahara Africa, AMREF-Maanisha programme-Kenya, Mumias Muslim Community Programme (MUMCOP)Kenya, Technical and Financial Audit for a Safe Programming in Kakuma & Dadaab Refugee Camps by International Rescue Committee. Dr. Muchelule has led many initiatives in the development of result chains/Theories of Change as tools to articulate the desired results, with sound knowledge and skills of design and deployment of information management systems on effective decisions making. Dr. Muchelule has published more than 60 scientific peer-reviewed journals articles in various fields of applied, social & management sciences as well as in business and humanities; currently, he is a member of the Community of Researchers for Global Journals for UK and USA and a Fellow Reviewer for both International Journal for Economics, Commerce, and Management, as well as an editorial research board member of Lukenya University, Kenya and a coordinator of the income-generating unit and research committee board member Umma University, Kenya; as well as a committee member of ICT master plan for Kenya Vision 2030.

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