FAMILY DISPUTE & RESOLUTION MECHANISM

  1. Don’t encourage your son and his wife to stay under the same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house. It’s their problem to find a separate home. The more the distance between you and your children’s families, the better is the relationship with your in-laws.

2. Treat your son’s wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would remember it for life.
In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.

3. Whatever habits or characters your son’s wife has is not your problem at all, it is your son’s problem. It isn’t your problem as he is an adult already.

4. Even when living together, make each other’s businesses clear, don’t do their laundry, don’t cook for them, and don’t babysit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son’s wife and you feel that you’re capable and don’t expect anything in return.
Most importantly, you shouldn’t worry about your son’s family problems. Let them settle themselves

5. Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarreling. It’s normal that the young couple do not like their parents to be involved in the dispute between husband and wife.

6. Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children, it is up to them. The credit or blame would be on them.

7. Your son’s wife need not necessarily respect and serve you. It is the son’s duty. You should have taught your son to be a better person so that your and your son’s wife’s relationship could be better.

8. Do more planning for your own retirement, don’t rely on your children to take care of your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn throughout the journey.

9. It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years. Better if you could utilize & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die. Don’t let your wealth become worthless to you.

10. Grandchildren don’t belong to your family, they’re their parents precious gift.

About the author

Dr. Muchelule

Dr. Muchelule has a Doctorate degree in project management,
masters in project management, with another ongoing Ph.D. in
management information systems, Bachelor of Science in computer science, ISO certified systems auditor, IT Governance as well as a child protection certified expert from Harvard University, Microsoft Certified IT, professional expert, from Microsoft U.S.A., Certified senior management expert as well
as strategic leadership development expert from Kenya School of Government with over 15 years of experience in ICT, project management, and Monitoring Evaluation. Currently, he is ACCA Strategic Business Leadership National Award-Winning Mentor (2022), Grasshoppers Global Award-Winning ICT Mentor, Florida U.S.A (2019), and IBM Research Africa Emerging Technology Mentorship Award (2018). Dr. Muchelule is a key facilitator in the Office of Registrar of Political Parties(ORPP), Kenya on its mandate, As well as lead trainer/facilitator to Kajiado County Ward Managers on Monitoring & evaluation, Gulf cap top management facilitator on project design, monitoring
& evaluation on Buxton Point Affordable Housing Project Mombasa County, Kenya, Key technical member on monitoring & evaluation of Kenya Judiciary, Co-Consultant with Africa
Population & Health Research Centre (APHRC) on the development of Kenya National Sanitation Policy, Lead consultant in the Development of Monitoring, Evaluation, And Learning (MEL) Plan For National Council on the Administration of Justice (NCAJ)- Court Users Committees (CUC), Lead consultant on the development of Gender Policy for the Kenya Independent Medico-Legal Unit (IMLU); lead consultant on Systems Analysis and Design For Projects Information Management System for Kenya's national water harvesting and storage authority(NWHSA), Team member in the development of Kenya judiciary strategic plan, lead consultant Kenya National Treasury in the Development of Standard Methodological Manual for Project Level Monitoring Evaluation and Reporting, ICT authority Technical committee member on Digital Literacy Program Implementation among Public Schools in Kenya, lead consultant in Mennonite Economic Development Associates of Canada (“MEDA”) on Equitable Prosperity through Private Sector Development (MSAWA Project).
He is among the Founder and Executive Director of the MettaMetta Foundation western region of Kenya, Technical Projects Advisor at The Association for the Physically Disabled of Kenya (APDK), An adjunct Lecturer at Kenya School of Law, a lecturer in both public and
private sectors in Kenya namely Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, Moi University, Umma University an External Examiner at Azteca University Canada & Mexico, External curriculum reviewer for Daystar, Kenya & South Eastern University of Kenya, a grasshopper’s faculty member in the U.S.A, PMI certified member U.S.A. With
working experience in development partner agencies like ACORD, MUBADIROON in sub-Sahara Africa, AMREF-Maanisha programme-Kenya, Mumias Muslim Community Programme (MUMCOP)Kenya, Technical and Financial Audit for a Safe Programming in Kakuma & Dadaab Refugee Camps by International Rescue Committee. Dr. Muchelule has published more than 100 scientific peer-reviewed journals articles in various fields of applied, social & management sciences as well as on societies issues with applicable solutions to their problems through research; currently, he is a member of the community of Researchers for Global Journals for UK and USA and a Fellow Reviewer for both International Journal for Economics, Commerce, and Management, as well as an editorial research board member of Lakenya University, Kenya, and a coordinator of the
incubation hub as well research committee board member Umma University, Kenya; as well as a committee member of the ICT master plan for Kenya Vision 2030.

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